question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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