I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
