Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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