We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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