Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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