Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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