i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
