I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
