pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize