i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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