party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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