"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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