Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
