I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
