And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Randomize
