i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
