i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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