You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
