I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
