I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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