The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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