"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
