What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
