He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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