Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
