Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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