I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
