i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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