I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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