She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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