i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
