he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
birth control should be required to get into college
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
