Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
