1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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