She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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