Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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