i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize