The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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