Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
