Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
