Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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