babies were throwing up all over the place
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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