my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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