She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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