who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I believe in your delicious
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
