Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
