another moral hangover. fuck.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize