gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
