no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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