It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
