if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
