yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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