Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
