Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
