I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Alive.
So much puke
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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