Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
