unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So much rum. So many feels.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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