and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
