I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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