Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
