Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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